More than a handful...

Honestly, it was this big...just got away

So this is it, my first attempt at "blogging" except for my week long tenure on facebook. Not only is it a new year and therefore a good time to start this venture, but I figured this would be the easiest way to keep friends and family informed. Most know I was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and anyone who knows a Morken understands the "fish was this big" Morken story embellishing habit. In an attempt to give anyone who's concerned the most accurate and up-to-date information, I have decided this blog is the way to go! This initial post may be a bit long, so hopefully I can just do a few short updates from now on!

Talk about all purpose...

That being said, let's start from the beginning...get everyone caught up. I went to the doc for a lump I noticed in my right breast (*Note: if boob talk makes you uncomfortable, close tab now). My doc said it was probably nothing to worry about, but referred me to get a mammogram anyway. This was an adventure in itself, not painful like most people described, I actually felt sorry for the technician. Here I was, sweaty (in true Morken fashion) and gross, this poor woman had to try to get my slippery A's into the flattening machine (as I like to call it)! After numerous shots, it was determined that I needed an ultrasound so they could get a better look at the tissue...apparently at the age of 30 you have all dense fibrous tissue that turns into fat as you age, it's difficult to make out what, if anything, is in that fibrous tissue. The ultrasound did show something, but they "weren't sure" what it was and they recommended that I have a biopsy done. They said again not to worry, I heard this quite a bit over the initial course of appointments, I suppose it's to keep you calm while you wait to figure out how your life may change over the course of the next few years if something comes back during testing. The biopsy was completed in about an hour, I had two spots that they wanted to biopsy...again, the infamous words "you shouldn't worry." The biopsy was done over Thanksgiving weekend, so I had to wait it out a few extra days before getting the results. Few people knew I had had a biopsy, only a couple close friends and my mom (who inevitably told my dad) were aware, I mean why worry everyone. Best to have the information up front.


Kim (my favorite older sister) was diagnosed with sarcoma during the summer of 2009. Thank God she caught it early and was able to get it removed. So far all of her scans have come back Great!!! Again, being a Morken and the quintessential one-upper, we all knew how the story would play out. Kim had one cancer, my test results came back showing two-invasive ductal carcinoma and invasive lobular carcinoma. I like to tease Kim with the fact that my cancer has a color (pink) and a month (October)! Thankfully, like Kim, mine was caught very early! I had a meeting with a surgeon and an oncologist to determine what my next step would be. My mom came with me to the day of appointments, which took about 6 hours! My dad was there as well, but we asked him to run errands since he tends to be a bit of a worrier (as a good dad should be) which we didn't really need at that point. The 6 hours mostly consisted of waiting, a blood test for genetic testing and numerous, numerous breast exams. I think I was felt up more in that afternoon than I have been in my whole life...and I didn't even get dinner first. After a week or so of deliberating and going back and forth between starting off with chemo or a lumpectomy, it was concluded that I would have a lumpectomy first and that the tumors would have a test done on them to determine if I needed chemo and radiation or just radiation for follow up treatment.

Courage Angel given to me by my family

Being blessed would be an understatement, as the minute my family and friends found out I had nothing but support. My parents came up and attended every appointment. My boss from work and friends Sam and John cooked meals for me and made sure I was well fed. My brother and sisters bent over backward to ensure I was all right. I didn't inform too many people, but the prayers and thoughts from family and friends out of state who were aware was over whelming. Needless to say, it is much harder on the people without the cancer than the person with it. I experienced that first hand as I was being wheeled into surgery for my lumpectomy the day after my dad's birthday. I was surprisingly calm, but the tears in Kari's (my favorite baby sister) and my Dad's eyes was the hardest feeling. All of this information I have been receiving I like to keep to myself, so I don't worry people, but that in itself worries them even more I suppose...it's the unknown. I knew I'd be just fine, I had thoughts and prayers and a courage angel given to me by my family to watch over me. For me, I slept through those few hours quickly, for my family it was a different experience. In the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital waiting room, they sat and waited for hours for sparse updates. They met strong people who were dealing with far more than we've had to. One young wife said her husband waited too long to go to the doctor, that the cancer he had had spread so far they didn't think they'd be able to stop it. It was a final surgery attempt for them. My dad and sister passed along the courage angel to her, she needed it more than I did.


As expected, I came out of surgery just fine, my family got me home, rented some movies and watched me sleep on the couch. In and out of sleepiness, I was visited by some wonderful friends, again causing me to realize how blessed I am. I hope to one day be as good of a friend, as good of a sister, and as good of a child as my friends and sibling are. To be the type of person to give compassionately without a second thought is something I need to work towards, thankfully I'm surrounded by the best teachers in the world...thank you to my family and friends. XOXO